swim with the tide and let it take you where it wants you to go.

Very recently, this following quote was posted/shared on my facebook page `FIBROMYALGIA WELLBEING`. And it rings true for many people - but its relevance in this case - was for others with Fibromyalgia......

`A person has three choices in life. You can swim against the tide and get exhausted, or you can tread water and let the tide sweep you away, or you can swim with the tide, and let it take you where it wants you to go`.

It made me think again about denial versus acceptance of this myriad of symptoms and cluster of health issues and challenges that I live as a reality - Fibromyalgia.

I also read another post somewhere today about healing from the inside out, instead of the other way around.

I am one of the first people to push the barrow of increased acceptance, understanding and compassion from society - towards people with Fibromyalgia (and other chronic conditions and health issues and/or disabilities).

However, the reality may well be that instead of seeking validation from the outside, we need to focus on the inside. To begin our healing or restoring, we need to become our own best friend and work towards strategies that will enable this to happen.

Dont waste precious energy on being frustrated because others dont undersand. Lord knows, in my worst days - I really didnt understand what was happening myself. How did I (then) expect others will be able to understand.

Believe me, I know how important it is to feel supported and how depressing it can be to feel isolated and alone but these are the times we can learn about ourselves and make positive changes. Instead of being annoyed and disappointed because we may be missing out. Instead of grieving because we have lost some of our previous quality of life. Instead of continuing to spiral downwards into a negative thinking cycle, turn your thoughts around. Its hard and (of course), the right support to help us through these difficult times is crucial. Not the support that makes us feel incompetent, guilty, lazy or worse than before. But the support that uplifts us and understands us, validates our feelings and can guide us through these difficult times. The right support is out there - we just need to remain open to it and lose our expectations of what it `should` look like. It may be via a Professional - it doesnt matter where or how, but with appropriate support - we can regain our balance, strength and perspective.

The reality is - everyone has struggles. People face their own challenges on a regular basis. Some people live with disability, or other health issues and some are far worse than Fibromyalgia.

The reality is - we show compassion to others, we support others, we try to show empathy to others.

When another person is faced with a problem like cancer, or diabetes, or they have limitations or disabilities - we automatically validate that and accept their reality.

So, why is it so hard for us to do that with ourselves ?

Instead of expectations about how others should treat us, maybe we should consider that if we BEGIN this process and learn our limits and respect our needs - then it may follow that others will try to follow suit. If not, then that should not stop us from caring for ourselves !

It is widely documented that people with FMS are typically `Type A Over achievers`.....we are intelligent, motivated, hard working people - we know that.

So, we also know that this condition affects many different systems and is known as `chronic multi system illness`.....although symptoms vary between individuals, many issues and symptoms overlap.

We cannot deny the main common point is `ENERGY SYSTEMS` (Hypothalamus - Pituitary - Adrenal axis).

If we listen closely to our bodies, they are undoubtedly saying

STOP.....SLOW DOWN.......REST.........CHILL OUT.....

And that is what needs to be done - at least to begin the healing process...if we do this, then we will have our energy to think and thus perspective and clearer and more positive thinking may follow.

A person with diabetes knows that they need to consider food in order to better manage their condition - some foods will make them worse, other foods will help long term management and increase stability. Sometimes medications are also needed to help this process on physical level. If they dont follow these strategies - then their condition may worsen and/or other problems may be triggered.

Fibromyalgia is no different....It is REAL, and it means that at least initially WE NEED TO TAKE CARE OF OUR PHYSICAL HEALTH, and our emotional wellbeing....we need to consider our nutrition, we need to ensure we find time for gentle exercise, we need to get adequate sleep and rest, we need to address any deficiencies and infections, and most of the time we need to take medications for the parts that just `need a little help`..there is no shame in that. It is just a HUGE refocus for us, being such workaholics, over achievers etc,....we are not used to caring for ourselves on this level.

BUT IT IS WHAT IS NEEDED....

So, if we return to the original quote....

`A person has three choices in life. You can swim against the tide and get exhausted, or you can tread water and let the tide sweep you away, or you can swim with the tide, and let it take you where it wants you to go`.

We can get exhausted with our expectations and disappointments, remain in fight-flight mode, remain stressed and continue to push harder and not give in. We can resist the changes we know we need to make. We can allow ourselves to be defined by our limitations and NOT listen to our bodies nor respect our needs OR

We can tread water by doing nothing. We can deny that we need to address our poor health and deny that we have a very real issue that we need to address. We can allow ourselves to feel disempowered and relinquish our control to others (eg Doctors etc) and let the tide sweep us away OR

We can let go and surrender, to do what we know we need to do for ourselves. Go with the tide, one wave at a time.

We can accept this `reality` and listen to our body. We can address the physical deficiencies and problems. We can reach out to others and get the support we need. We can remain empowered and responsible for our own health and wellbeing. We can become active participants in our health care and make choices that we feel comfortable with. We can take the action and the steps that are right for our own self. Perhaps by doing this, we will promote our own recovery and healing - and move through this challenging experience. I know one thing for sure - this last choice will be the least stressful.

Resistance does need and take far more energy - energy that we just dont have !

So, swim with the tide and make your peace - and become your own best friend. Save your energy for positive healing.